The Four Pillars of Modern-Day Political Discourse

So who out there likes to talk politics? I know my hand is raised! And if any of you know me, that's as surprising to you as a sunrise.

But as much as I like a little verbal jousting about the times and seasons we live in, with friend and foe alike, I realize that this isn't for everyone.

I mean, I can hold my weight in these discussions. I know enough about stuff-n-things to sound smarter than I actually am, and I know enough about obfuscation to hide behind a wall of tangential irrelevancy when I find myself flummoxed. I can stick and move like a prize fighter when it comes to arguing over Washington's denizens and the crap they spew forth upon us.

But you're not me.

While I gravitate towards these discussions, many of you shy away from them. Sure, you have opinions, some of them even well-thought-out opinions. You have your gut instincts, your general senses of right-and-wrong, your belief systems or lack-thereof. You have things you want to get off your chest and points you want to make, but you feel too intimidated and daunted to open your mouth and engage the enemy in battle, even if that enemy is your best friend, and the battle is only over who should be elected to the local school-board.

Well, I can't, in good conscious, let you, my dear friends, sit cowed and intimidated, letting the world run roughshod all over you. So in your interest, not mine, I am giving you the key to Modern-Day political discourse; the four pillars upon which all civic policy discussion is currently founded!

Here they are:

1) FEAR!
2) HATE!
3) SELFISHNESS!
4) STUPIDITY!

(Capitalization is intentional.)

Yes, those four words are all you need to remember to get through any discussion relating to public policy. These words, coupled with the proper accusatory tone, can shut down any opposing viewpoint or opinion, if shouted loud enough, voiced in the proper inflamatory language, and/or coupled with a disgusted scowl or an accompanying "Pfft" and a flip of the head.

Now look, don't be a simpleton. You don't just shout out the word "HATE!" when you're in a backed into a proverbial corner. No, silly, you accuse your opponent of being CONSUMED with hate. Or fear. Or selfishness. Or stupidity.

Getting the picture? I mean, if you're a Conservative, you have almost surely found yourself on the receiving end of this unfounded criticiscm at some stage of the game while opposing Universal Healthcare provided by the Federal Government. "Why are you afraid of something you've never tried? Why do you hate the poor so much you want to deny them healthcare? Why are you so selfish you want to deny little kids their trips to the doctor? Or are you just an idiot?"

Are you catching on?

Now look, I know these pillars sound like nothing more than cheap shots, but there's a good reason for that: They are.

But that's what it's all dissolved down to these days. So why not partake?

What, are you afraid to? Why do you hate people so much that you won't talk to them? Are you so selfish that you won't fight for what's right? Or are you just a moron?

See? I gotcha!

Look, I didn't say I LIKE this method of arguing, I'm just saying that it's the perfect fit for today's lazy intellectualism. Why actually engage in thoughtful consideration of another's viewpoint, when you can fall back on baseless and harmful accusation instead? Why try to understand, when you can instead besmear and defame the enemy?

What do you think conversation is, a forum to expand your view and understanding? Pfffffft, haven't you gone to a Town Hall meeting lately? Conversation is to be HEARD, not to LISTEN. Listening takes time and effort. And you could miss Dancing With the Stars if you get involved with that crap.

SO there you go. Your 4 pillars. Please use as intended- i.e., completely irresponsibly.