Victory follows me.
It stalks me across this great nation like a private investigator looking for a child support evader. Like a craxy ex-girlfriend determined to make me love her again by boiling my rabbit on the stove.
It is relentless.
Here's how it works: When I move somewhere, and then LEAVE, their sports team, if it's any good to begin with, will win the Championship the following season.
Early in the decade, I was living and working in Masschusetts. I left and moved to Tampa. New England won the Super Bowl.
I moved from Tampa to Las Vegas. Tampa won the Super Bowl.
I got divorced, my ex moved back to Massachusetts, and I started flying back there a lot and spending time with the kids.
New England wins another couple of Super Bowls.
In late 2004, I lived in the Pittsburgh area. I left; Pittsburgh won the next year's Super Bowl.
At the same time, I was living in Cincinnati quite a bit. Cincinnati sucks. I wasn't going to help them out any. Remember, the team has to be good to start with!
But Indianapolis, just about an hour away from Cincy? They won the next Super Bowl.
This has happened with Hockey Teams, Baseball Teams, over and over.
Last year, I spent 5 months in Phoenix.
Count on the Cardinals to take it all.
Now if they DO, and you didn't BET ON IT, don't come whining to me. I set you up for a great pay-out.
I want half the winnings if you do, though. Come on, it's only fair.
3 comments:
is "boiling my rabbit on the stove" a euphemism for something disgusting and perverted? because i fail to see how, if taken literally, it could make you want to love someone again.
Andrea, it's a reference to the movie Fatal Attraction... Psycho ex-girlfriend takes the family's pet rabbit and boils it on their stove...
Andrea, it's a reference to the movie Fatal Attraction... Psycho ex-girlfriend takes the family's pet rabbit and boils it on their stove...
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