This is the transcript of an actual conversation that took place on the morning of October 22, 2008, in Rock Hill, South Carolina. (Note: When speaking in the Dunkin Donuts Drive-through guy's voice, allow the words to echo around in the hollow spot in the back of your nose, and speak just a little too slowly.)
DUNKIN DONUTS DRIVE-THRU GUY: Weckum to Dunkindonutz may I take yorder.
ME: Wha- oh. Um, yeah, hold on... I want a box of Munchkins-
DDDTG: Whaflava?
ME: What?
DDDTG: Whaflava?
ME: What?
KIDS IN BACK SEAT: I think he said "what flavor?"
ME: Oh, uh... can you like, grab some random ones and toss them in there? Like an order of 25, selected at random?
DDDTG: Assordit?
ME: Wha- assorted? Yeah. Random. Assorted.
DDDTG: Assordit?
ME: YES! ASSORTED!
DDDTG: Widis compleeyorder?
ME: Will this-?? No. No, I also want 2 chocolate donuts.
DDDTG: Chokitfrostit?
ME: What?
DDDTG: Chokitfrostit?
ME: What?
KIDS IN BACK SEAT: CHOCOLATE FROSTED!
ME: Chocolate frosted?
DDDTG: Chokitfrostit?
ME: No, chocolate!
DDDTG: Chokitfrostit?
ME: CHOCOLATE! NOT chocolate frosted!
DDDTG: Chokitcay?
ME: WHAT?
DDDTG: Chokitcay?
ME: WHAT?
KIDS IN BACK SEAT: CHOCOLATE CAKE!
EMMA: Yay, chocolate cake, Daddy, I want Chocolate cake-
ME: Chocolate cake?
DDDTG: Chokitcay?
ME: No, I don't want chocolate cake, I want a chocolate donut! I want TWO chocolate donuts!
DDDTG: Chokitcay or chokitfrostit?
ME: Oh for the love- you call a chocolate donut "chocolate cake?"
DDDTG: Chokitcay?
ME: (To Maddie) Who calls that a "chocolate cake donut?" What's with this guy?
DDDTG: Chokitcay?
ME: Chocolate donut. CHOCOLATE DONUT. Chocolate through and through. If that's what you call chocolate cake, then yes, I'll have a chocolate cake donut.
DDDTG: Widis compleeyorder?
ME: No, I want 4 milks, and THAT will complete my order.
DDDTG: Toopuhcen ohomill?
ME: Oh good hell... MILK. MILK! Whatever you grab off the shelf! Whatever YOU think of when you want milk, grab me that.
DDDTG: Toopuhcen ohomill?
ME: (shrugging, I look in the back seat for translation)
KIDS IN BACK SEAT: TWO PERCENT OR WHOLE MILK?
ME: 4 WHOLE MILKS!
DDDTG: Widis com-
ME: Yes!
DDDTG: Please pullroun segunwinduh.
ME: Unbelievable.
7 comments:
I laughed so hard through this whole thing. so funny - the kid translation. Also, i'm very jealous. I want to live near a dunkin donuts!!!
only a year here, my kids now speak fluent Southern. Or at least understand it.
now THIS is what i'm talking about. this is my kind of mindless, entertaining post.
i'm writing the drive through guy in on the ballot.
ps didn't know you were in sc with the chitlins. enjoy and give them all a big "wazzzup" for me.
I shouldn't be laughing so hard while I'm at work...thankfully no one is around. Thanks for posting this. :D
that is hysterical. i have to say that the accent is one of the things i kind of miss from living on hilton head. of course it was a long time ago, so it doesnt seem anything but endearing to me, much like a new england accent everytime i move away!
There is none of this where we live because in this area of North Carolina all of the people are imported from the North East. You are more likely to have to deal with a New York accent. Which, honestly, is nearly as bad!
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